Words… Gossiper or Encourager?
Ξ August 8th, 2009 | → 1 Comments | ∇ The Blog |
I had the rare privilege of speaking in our church this last Sunday. The topic of Gossiper or Encourager was the general discussion as I shared from my own experiences and reflected on what I believe we as followers of Christ are called to do in this regard.
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Kind words: Transform worry to joy.
“Worry can rob you of happiness, but kind words will cheer you up.” Proverbs 12:25
Gentle words: Break through anger.
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 51:1
Pleasant words: Encourage learning.
“Pleasant words promote instruction.” Proverbs 16:21
Honest words: Make us feel loved.
“An honest answer is a kiss on the lips.” Proverbs 24:26
Wise words: Heal broken hearts.
“Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword, but wisely spoken words can heal.” Proverbs 12:18
I think intent is really important when we talk about gossip. Do you say these things to harm them or to really help them? You can have some hard conversations with people, let’s say in a work environment, but the end goal of it is to actually help that individual take steps and improve and be able to thrive in their work environment.
What is our motivation in the things that we share?
James says in our own lives our tongue is so significant because it steers our lives and it talks about deep internal things that are happening. He says it is the tongue that directs your life. If you want to know where you are going to go in the next five to ten years, look at what you say.
If you want to know the direction your life is moving, look at your conversations. Look at the words that are coming out of your mouth.
We shape our words and then our words shape and define us.
The tongue can open doors for you into the future. It can close doors for you. It can help other people. It can hurt other people.
It will determine the direction of your life.
The Call to be an encourager
The ministry of encouragement is always your calling as a part of the Body of Christ.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.
Hebrews 10:24 And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works.
An encourager speaks words of encouragement, appreciation, support and respect.
Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will never forget you - William Arthur Ward
Encouragers build up with their words. Discouragers criticize and tear down.
A person who is continually criticized becomes good for nothing, the effect of criticism knocks all the gumption and power out of him.
James 5:9 Do not grumble against one another, brethren, lest you be condemned.
Acknowledge others’ abilities and efforts. If someone feels inadequate, encourage him or her that all things are possible with God’s help.
Watch out for subtle ways you may tear down others, such as pointing out how quickly you can do something or how you disagree with them
An encourager is an intercessor.
It is interesting that the word used to describe the Holy Spirit, Paraclete is translated: “counselor,” “comforter,” “advocate,” “helper,” “intercessor,” “strengthener,” “standby,” or “encourager.”
Helping or encouraging someone means praying for them – building them up by lifting them up.
Encouragers talk to God on behalf of others. Discouragers talk to others about others.
“No one can tame the tongue,” says James, it is “a restless evil, full of deadly poison” . Did you hear about the kid who ate six bags of Pop Rocks at a party? His name was John Gilchrist, the actor who played “Little Mikey” in television commercials for Life cereal. He ate six bags of Pop Rocks, drank a six-pack of Pepsi, and the two substances combined in his stomach and exploded, killing him horribly. That’s why Pop Rocks were taken off the market in the early 1980s.
The truth is that John Gilchrist never exploded. Pop Rocks plus soda produces only a burp. But the makers of Pop Rocks had to work hard to squelch the rumor, even writing to school principals. The same sort of corporate action had to be taken by the company Procter & Gamble, when it was accused of having links to Satanism.
The depth of this rumor was so profound, I actually had someone come up to me after church and insist this was indeed fact, and they remembered it specifically.
Listen to these words of God specifically concerning His church:
Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong. 2 Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few - Ecc 5:1-2
Do you know how to stop the spread of a rumor? Simply don’t respond.
Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down – Proverbs 26:20
There simply isn’t anything good about gossip.
There is a great Christian virtue in simply holding your tongue.
There is truth to the saying “If you can’t say anything good, don’t say anything at all.” We as Christians should take that saying one-step further… “If we can’t say anything good, something that reflects a Christ-like attitude and reflects the love of Christ through us, than we shouldn’t say anything at all.
Nothing more hurtful, more discouraging to one of your brothers or sisters than to make an unkind, uncalled for remark about someone’s attempt to do the right thing for God, that perhaps doesn’t come out perfect. Instead of condemning, suggest something encouraging, helpful and respect the fact that the brother or sister is working for the Glory of God, not the approval of you and I.
The Bible tells us
the tongue is a fire,
it can set an entire forest ablaze,
it’s dangerous and destructive,
its power is far greater than its size,
it’s like a tiny rudder that can guide a huge ship,
it’s like a small bridle that controls the movement of a large horse…
Luke 6:45
The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.
There are going to be times when we will have to speak about someone who is not present.
May God help us to always speak of that person in the best possible light. May God help all of us control our tongues so we may avoid the sin of gossip.
We all need encouragers in our lives, and we must all serve as encouragers for others. Imagine what we might hear if we devoted ourselves to listening for and passing along only encouragement.
on August 8th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
I wish to add the following and it is as follows:
Never be a gossiper but with a very loving, kind,
compassionate, empathetic heart always be the very best encourager in every way at all times for that truly is the only way to always be.